The Guilts Of Working Moms

By Haris Aamir

22 November 2022

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Most working mothers have this foolish assumption that they must "balance" their job and family life. But there isn't such a thing. Your life is intertwined, and you choose your profession for a reason - there is nothing wrong with that.

 Worse, this creates a conflict between two aspects of your existence. When you chose one side over the other, you feel as though you're doing something wrong (which is pretty much happening all the time).

 What Is Working Mom Guilt?

Working mom guilt refers to the emotions of guilt that mothers may experience as a result of returning to work rather than staying at home with their new baby or children. Some ideas came from the concept of the working mother's dilemma. We expect women to work as if they don't have children, then raise their children as if they don't.

 There is societal pressure on women to accomplish it all, which, when confronted with the stark reality, leaves us feeling guilty no matter what we do. And how about over time? This can result in blurred boundaries, where work spills into family time, family problems cloud your mind at work, and you feel as if you're missing out on everything and failing both at work and home. Work/life balance has never been so difficult.

 Why Do Some Working Mothers Feel Guilty?

Becoming a parent is a significant life transition that affects all aspects of your life. Simple things we used to take for granted, like taking a shower, become a luxury you can't always find time for at the beginning. Finding time for oneself (whether for self-care, five minutes to have a coffee without watching your children, or uninterrupted news reading) might leave you feeling guilty.

 Tips

Here are some suggestions to help you deal with them because you are not alone.

 1.    Let Go of Either/Or

There is no either/or situation. You can be successful as a mother as well as in your work. You can't achieve it without putting the two sides against each other. Drop the either/or thinking.

 2.    Educate Yourself About the Benefits of Working

Working full-time as a mother has advantages and disadvantages. There are also advantages and disadvantages to staying at home with your children while working part-time. Unfortunately, you've been concentrating on all the disadvantages of working. For a change, it's time to educate yourself and start focusing on the positives.

 A working mother benefits her children. Your children will have more chances to be autonomous, learn from their carers, and realize that they do not have to postpone their aspirations or objectives. Because you work, you will be teaching children important lessons.

 3.    Take Impeccable Care of Yourself

They appear to believe that they do not have time to care for themselves. The point is, you have to make the time (and YES, you can make it).

 It's time to admit that if you're healthy, you're a better mother, wife, worker, and all-around person. That's all there is to self-care. It is about doing what is required to stay physically, psychologically, and spiritually well. You are worthy of dedicating some time to it!

 4.    Be Present

You must be fully present if you want to spend meaningful time with your children. And the only way to do so is to work on it regularly. Presence is a skill that needs to be honed. I'd like you to reflect on your childhood recollections with your family. What do you cherish the most? Do you recall a planned, grandiose excursion or something unplanned (but the polar opposite of an elaborate event)? I'm prepared to wager that your favorite recollections are of short, uncomplicated times when someone paid you complete attention. Concentrate on your children when you're with them. Be completely present with them at that time.